Sometime during pregnancy you began loosing sleep, you probably didn’t notice it because you were so excited by the changes that were happening and you were planning and wondering. Then you brought your bundle of joy home and you probably started to notice that you were loosing sleep.

Generally it is not acceptable in our society for adults to take naps, and so we as moms tend to feel guilty about taking time during the day to catch up on our much needed sleep. This need for sleep is normal, and you are not being lazy if you take some time for yourself to catch up.

Before you ventured on the journey to motherhood you probably had a sleep schedule built around your job and your lifestyle. Your body adjusted to that schedule and once you acclimatized to it, you felt that it was normal. You have to look at this change as yet another lifestyle change. You aren’t suddenly able to survive on less sleep than you did before, you haven’t become a super hero overnight… you have become a mom, but you still need to look after your needs in order to be the best mom you can be!

Look, if you were to take a minute to realize that not only has your body just gone through a crazy amount of changes (hormonal, physical, biological) and that you have also made some huge mental changes as well – you would be able to understand why it is that you need this sleep. You have probably never had to be “on call” 24/7 for a baby before and you were not prepared for the toll that it would take. Most of us think we understand what is about to happen, we hear about it from other moms, we even see our friends go through it, but it is never the same as when we go through it ourselves.

For those of you who have adopted children, you are still going through a bunch of changes, emotionally and physically you have some big changes to adjust to as well.

I know what you are thinking, you have probably already heard people around you who have given you their wisdom. Many of the women who have gone before you will tell you that the dishes and the laundry will still be there when you get up from your nap and that your dusting can wait.

The biggest message here is to be kind to yourself. Whenever you hear yourself complaining that you don’t have enough time to sleep because there are towels to fold or supper to make, take a step back and think about what you would say if a friend was saying the same thing to you.  Would you tell them that it was important to look after themselves and get the rest that they needed so that they could be 100% present for their child(ren) and partner – or would you tell them that they better suck it up and get it all done! Would you tell them that they are expected to be perfect and unblemished in taking on this new role? I hope that you are the type of friend that is thoughtful and supportive and helps your friends to find ways to look after themselves… if that is how you would talk to your best friend then it is time you were your own best friend!

If you are still not able to talk to your self this way then perhaps it is time to enlist someone who will reinforce these ideas for you. Find a friend or family member who you trust to help guide you through these changes. The important part in this relationship with the person you choose is that you actually take their advice and listen to the knowledge that they are giving you. If you think that you won’t listen to the person you are about to choose for this role – then I suggest you choose someone different.

Ultimately the addition of a baby to your household will bring challenges to the time schedule regardless if it is the first or fourth baby. Please take care of yourself and get the rest you need and take time to be a woman not just a mother. Your children and your partner will thank you, because you will have more patience and love to give if you first give it to yourself.